This week I have been using a range of language features to help make my writing more descriptive. Some language features we have been talking about are similes, metaphors, personification and onomatopoeia.
This is my favourite piece of writing please give me feed back.
Today when I went to new lynn mall I can hear people talking,babies crying and car driving. It was my best day ever. This was happening in the restaurant when i was at the restaurant I taste the chocolate ice cream it was delicious and ate some pizza .I could see the toys shop and when I went in the toy shop i touch this witch face when I touch it it made a noise and she said i’m a witch i like to play with kids.
By Hadiya
Hi Hadiya
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your writing.
I would suggest starting your writing with the sentence 'It was the best day ever'. Then start the next sentence with I can hear... and get straight into using your senses to describe the moment.
Remember that you are describing a moment in time. Hopefully your description is detailed enough to help the reader imagine where you are without you having to tell them. Keep up the great work.
From Miss Fortes
Kia Ora Hadiya
ReplyDeleteMy name is Ruby And I go to Grey Main School.
Your Writing is Really cool.
Pai Mahi And Keep Up Your Great Work.